Author: Korina Terek, Privatna umjetnička gimnazija, Zagreb
It’s a sound of a church bell and a choir of voices singing. The place where you once found
peace only makes you feel empty now. You go home with a hollow chest, wondering if you
could pinpoint the moment you changed if you think hard enough.
It’s a taste of copper in your mouth as the fist collides with your jaw, but you’re still not
backing away. No matter how cruel their laughter is, you won’t take back your words. You
can’t. It just wouldn’t be you.
It’s biting your tongue before all the words you want to scream can rush out. But even if they don’t get past your lips, they still stay with you, just bubbling under the surface. It’s almost as if they were waiting for the right moment to get out. You don’t know how much more you can take.
It’s the pang of fear and guilt that surges when you hear your father mention the things that
make your stomach turn. The lies and excuses for leaving come too easily after some time.
You wonder when it became the only acceptable way of dealing with things.
It’s the pain when your own fist collides with the wall in full force. Your lungs scream for air as you fight off another panic attack after the mere thought of future that awaits. You don’t know when it got so bad. You only know you are tired. So tired
It’s the feeling you get, five years later, when you join hands with her. The way you can walk
and laugh freely while doing it. You steal a glance as the smile creeps onto your face. Yes.
You are finally being you.
