Author: Luna Divić, Srednja škola fra Andrije Kačića Miošića
I can’t stand my sterile room.
I can’t stand the smell of white filling my lungs every day.
I can’t even breathe on my own so the smell of disinfectant is ever-present.
I’ll die if I go outside. I’ll die if I don’t put my breathing mask on. I’ll die if I look at someone the wrong way. I’ll die if I live long enough… Wow, I’m already at the train stop?
I swear it feels like teleporting from place to place when I do this. (I know I’ll never be able to afford teleporting. I can barely feed myself and pay tuition!)
Not that I wanted to be here. I can’t go where I want if I like breathing. That’s just the price of life today. And because of that, now I go from one cold, spine-twisting lonely room to another, trying to become something I loathe. A “peace keeper”.
I don’t know who came up with the name, but that person didn’t have any clue what “peace keepers” do. Duties in a range from neutralising threats to sterilising the air or cleaning the public spaces. But nothing to actually keep the peace! (Probably because there is no peace to keep?)
Ouch! Seriously!? This can’t be happening again.
“Hey Atlas!” says Jagger just after making me trip and fall on my face. He has been doing that since my first day here.
“Are you here to learn how to pick up dog feces or is that too advanced for you?” that little…
“Jagger, I can see you’ve learned to compose full sentences since I’ve last seen you. Congrats!” his face is so red with rage. I am panicking…
“You are dead!” shouts Jagger from the top of his lungs, as loud as his breathing max will let him.
I have to get out of here, now. Why did I have to insult him? Jagger is the son of our employment manager. Now I really will be picking up dog feces for the rest of my life.
Thank God! There is Erin.
“See you around Jagger!” I’ve never run so fast in my life.
The grey and white of the underground city blurred together. Sleek and constantly visible screens and security cameras became one and red uniforms of the “peace keepers” melted into an unrecognisable blob.
As soon as I’m within speaking range I blurt everything out. “I think they would put me in a house if I didn’t have you Erin!’’
“Ha!” she says happily “I know that, but let’s be honest, you would die if I wasn’t here.”
We laugh at how true that is.
She’s shorter than me, super strong from working on the farms and her hair is slightly curly and an astonishing shade of black which frames her face like the most marvellous painting ever.
And the way her cheeks look when she blushes! (I’m proud to say I think I caused a few of those myself.)
No! I can’t think like this! And I’ve been staring for way too long… But she hasn’t said anything about it. I think she’s staring too?
When did we sit down? Where are we? What the hell is happening? This feeling is very illegal. We can’t do this? For years I listened to people say that this feeling right here will send the world into anarchy. You may not agree with everything they say but they said this so many times and with such importance. It must be true? Why am I not moving then?
Move!
Do something!
Through my panicking haze her silky voice is the first thing I notice.
“Atlas?” she says as though she’s trying to gently wake me up.
And then I overload.
The thick white that surrounded me was gone and I’m laying in a field. Outside! Without my breathing mask! Smelling the delicate and subtle scent of grass and rain. This is what I’ve imagined heaven is like.
But I’m not dead. I know because I’m not alone. She is here. Her small but strong hand in mine.
She is calm. She knows what’s going on.
Finally, she speaks.
“So… You’ve woken up. You were out for almost a day. This is “the Outside”, it’s not contaminated like they made you think. They lied about a lot of things”, what?! I’m so confused.
“And I’m so sorry I’ve lied for so long too, but this is the truth. I work here with the rebellion and try to get as many people out as I can. And I’m so happy you’re finally free. I’ll show you the ropes and explain everything in detail later, but I just have to tell you…”, she’s suddenly quiet.
Strangely I believe every word she said.
“I would totally understand if you didn’t feel the same way,” she speaks fast like her nerve might give out at any second, “but I never lied about myself and please believe me when I say I care about you. I really do… I’m such an idiot. My feelings don’t matter right now, you have much bigger things to think about.” She waved herself off and I sat there dumbfounded.
And that’s when I finally decided to do what I wanted to do, for the first time in my life.
I’m going to kiss her. (God, I have no clue what I’m doing!) I’ve only read about it somewhere once. The words: “Can I kiss you?” came out of my mouth and she blushed the way only she does and gave me the sweetest nod in the universe.
I’m so clueless and dizzy but ecstatic.
The moment my lips came close enough to her full, sunny, angelic ones in a whisper of a kiss, she is the one to close the space between us.
An outburst of glee, pleasure, bliss, elation, rapture… There aren’t enough words to describe that moment. This is something that will invariably exist for as long as there are sentient beings in the universe.
